The World According to Gio

First off, zortwife truly rocks my socks, for she did in fact answer our maydays and remove the superbug corpse from the lamp, even though I was squealing like a pig in agony and she herself looked a little green around the gills. Zorts are a good asset in any household. Even if they make scary statements about requiring pictures of real life testicles.

The temperature has dropped to a rather pleasant 90° here, and as a result, I'm much less grumpy and firejunkie forgot about the sunburn protection scheme (or the scheme to conserve razor blades until the arrival of the first fall financial aid check, you decide) and shaved for like the first time in three weeks. I only noticed because when I went to wash my face after work last night, the drain in the bathroom sink was clogged up *shakes head sadly* Can't check my oil or combat superbugs, but does the manly hairy part really well... where oh where did I go wrong?

Random aside: does anybody besides me think that a certain myspace denizen has been "blessed" (deliberate misuse of quotation marks as a hint) a very persistent sockpuppet? Surely nobody can be that psychotic without getting 51-50'd, even with the state that mental health services are in.

And today, we officially start the countdown to doomsday. Although I think this year I'll manage to be less neurotic about it. The plan at present is for my entire family to chip in and then I can cover the difference of a new computer, since 8+ years is a long, long time for Kosh to be alive, even if he is a trusty G3 and immune to most ailments that befall PCs. I do have requirements though, which will obviously make the whole thing much more difficult. Such as, I absolutely must retain some version of OS9/Classic mode in order not to have to replace Quark Xpress, Illustrator, or Photoshop. Those are the really expensive ones. I could probably live without Photoshop, but Quark and Illustrator are tools of the trade, so to speak. Really, there's a bunch of software I don't necessarily want to replace, either 'cause I'd rather not pay for it again (Excel), or because I like the versions I currently have, thankyouverymuch (BBEdit, Eudora), and don't want to mess with a system that is working. I do, however, acknowledge that a webbroswer less than five years old might be an acceptable excuse for upgrading to OSX. In conclusion, we need to go to the Apple store this weekend.

Lemme disclaim: straight men should not click on the below cut-tag. Neither should women who are offended by penises. In fact, only click on the below cut-tag if you are a) a certain anonymous person of my acquaintance who just asks the darndest things or b) erect penises don't bother you as a rule (in which case I'm assuming you opted in on the porn filter ages and ages ago and would probably be more interested in the scorching hot favorite pictures post, or the very artistic collections of three years' worth of French Rugby Team calendars indexed here).

( This is what a real-life penis and scrotum look like )